{"product_id":"witness-height-guide-funny-bigfoot-cryptid-measuring-t-shirt","title":"Bigfoot Witness Height Guide T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWitness Height Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRural Myth Co. | Field \u0026amp; Folklore\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEyewitness accounts can be unreliable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat’s why we brought a ruler.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the Witness Height Guide, a funny Bigfoot shirt and official-looking measurement system for those unfortunate occasions when the thing you saw in the woods was considerably taller than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInspired by the height strips found beside convenience-store doors, this vintage field guide provides four helpful classifications:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e6 FT — TALL MAN\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e7 FT — VERY TALL MAN\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e8 FT — NOT A MAN\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e9 FT — STOP MEASURING\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs you can see, the identification process becomes somewhat less scientific at higher elevations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd just above the final measurement, a mysterious, impossibly tall figure peers over the top of the ruler.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApparently, it would like to see the results.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA vintage folding carpenter’s rule emblem identifies the equipment as:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRURAL MYTH CO.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMEASURED IN THE FIELD\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in Bone and Mustard, this original design combines old-fashioned measuring equipment with the questionable methodology of cryptid field research.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePart of the Field \u0026amp; Folklore Collection from Rural Myth Co.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for cryptid enthusiasts, Bigfoot believers, amateur investigators, hikers, surveyors, and anyone who has ever found themselves saying, “Well, that was definitely taller than a person.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSix feet: Nothing unusual.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeven feet: Keep watching.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEight feet: Reconsider your assumptions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNine feet: Put the ruler away and go home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Brick, Grape, Ivory, Moss, Pepper, Washed Denim, and Espresso.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun US cotton, pre-shrunk, 6.1 oz heavyweight\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, sizes S–3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, washed-in vintage feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade to order just for you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Moss \/ 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