Cryptid Encounter Risk Today
Rural Myth Co. | Field Safety Division
Today's forecast: mostly calm, with a moderate chance of losing your snacks.
Before traveling through unfamiliar cryptid territory, it's important to assess current conditions.
Fortunately, the Rural Myth Co. Field Safety Division has developed a comprehensive four-level encounter-response system.
WAVE
The situation appears friendly. Maintain a respectful distance.
BACK AWAY SLOWLY
The situation is becoming less friendly. Avoid sudden movements.
LEAVE THE SNACKS
Negotiations have failed. Surrender the trail mix.
RUN
Further explanation is unnecessary.
This funny cryptid camping shirt features a weathered vintage roadside sign with a colorful risk dial, chipped paint, rough wooden posts, and the kind of practical safety advice you won't find in an ordinary hiking guide.
Today's indicator is firmly positioned at:
LEAVE THE SNACKS.
An unfortunate development for anyone carrying beef jerky.
Rendered in bone, mustard, weathered orange, rust red, and pine black, this original design combines nostalgic roadside Americana with the peculiar hazards of rural cryptid folklore. Available in Grape, Ivory, Moss, Pepper, Washed Denim, and Espresso.
Issued by RURAL MYTH CO. FIELD SAFETY.
Please secure all snacks before entering the area.
The Field Safety Division accepts no responsibility for missing sandwiches, unexplained footprints, or sudden changes in local wildlife behavior.
Product details
- Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee
- 100% ring-spun US cotton, pre-shrunk, 6.1 oz heavyweight
- Relaxed unisex fit, sizes S–3XL
- Soft, washed-in vintage feel
- Made to order just for you
