Witness Height Guide
Rural Myth Co. | Field & Folklore
Eyewitness accounts can be unreliable.
That’s why we brought a ruler.
Introducing the Witness Height Guide, a funny Bigfoot shirt and official-looking measurement system for those unfortunate occasions when the thing you saw in the woods was considerably taller than expected.
Inspired by the height strips found beside convenience-store doors, this vintage field guide provides four helpful classifications:
6 FT — TALL MAN
7 FT — VERY TALL MAN
8 FT — NOT A MAN
9 FT — STOP MEASURING
As you can see, the identification process becomes somewhat less scientific at higher elevations.
And just above the final measurement, a mysterious, impossibly tall figure peers over the top of the ruler.
Apparently, it would like to see the results.
A vintage folding carpenter’s rule emblem identifies the equipment as:
RURAL MYTH CO.
MEASURED IN THE FIELD
Rendered in Bone and Mustard, this original design combines old-fashioned measuring equipment with the questionable methodology of cryptid field research.
Part of the Field & Folklore Collection from Rural Myth Co.
Perfect for cryptid enthusiasts, Bigfoot believers, amateur investigators, hikers, surveyors, and anyone who has ever found themselves saying, “Well, that was definitely taller than a person.”
Six feet: Nothing unusual.
Seven feet: Keep watching.
Eight feet: Reconsider your assumptions.
Nine feet: Put the ruler away and go home.
Available in Brick, Grape, Ivory, Moss, Pepper, Washed Denim, and Espresso.
Product details
- Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee
- 100% ring-spun US cotton, pre-shrunk, 6.1 oz heavyweight
- Relaxed unisex fit, sizes S–3XL
- Soft, washed-in vintage feel
- Made to order just for you
